Lessons in God's Faithfulness....

If you've been reading my blog at all this month, then you know some of the things that I've faced in the past few weeks....

.....over Christmas, we had a pretty expensive ER visit with my daughter and then my computer died.....I pouted and then read about Edie at Life In Grace who lost her house in a fire before Christmas....it gave me perspective....quickly!

.....and then we had friends who live about a mile away whose house burned....I still remember hearing the abundance of sirens that Monday night and praying....as the sirens kept coming I felt a deep concern for whomever was being affected....never realizing that we knew the family.....

Tuesday morning (before we knew about the fire) I was reading for my time with God a book by Francis Chan called Crazy Love.....I was on pg. 122 that morning where it says..."When it's hard and you are doubtful, give more...."

I never knew that within the hour.....I'd be challenged to do just that.....

....I am often a person who second-guesses the voice of God.....I'll question whether it was really God speaking or just me thinking....I'll rationalize away sending the note He's prompting me to write or making that extra meal for a neighbor in need......but that Tuesday morning, His voice was LOUD.....AND....CLEAR!!

He wanted me to give.......to give in spite of my anxiety that I still had to pay-off my computer......to give extravagently despite the ER bill still sitting on my desk.....to give joyfully even though the utility bills were coming and it had been a C-O-L-D December!

And you know what...I did it!  And I was so excited.....I felt obedient....I felt like I was blessing someone....and then within 24 hours....ugh!

In about 24-48 hours, I realized that all of my son's socks had holes in them and tons were missing.....where do they go??.....my daughter had grown through her pants.....(her knees!).....and my son's toes were jammed into his sneakers....hmmm!  Now how did that happen?  ......and then I actually got the UGI bill....

But I was okay....because in my mind I had a safety net.....I had Christmas gift cards!  I had been given gift cards that I was hoarding.....so I had that as a safety net....all I needed was that Kohl's coupon to come in the mail....

Well, the coupon came and I went to get the giftcard so that I could start getting my kids their needed clothing....but....it....was....missing........missing???  But God....I gave....for You.....where's my gift card!!

I tore my house, desk, purse, car apart......no giftcard....but God....You knew how much I needed this gift card...I'm not even spending it on myself!!  Really God.....if I could just find it, I'll write a blog post on the woman and the lost coin......can you just let me find it....

After hours of looking, I started to really realize that it was G-O-N-E.....and then I cried.....but God....all these things have happened.....I'm trying to trust You......

Francis Chan's words(well, actually God's) kept ringing in my head as I stomped, cried and got cranky with everyone....."Give liberally and be ungruding when you do so, for on this account the LORD your God will bless you in all your work and in all that you undertake"  Deuteronomy 15:10

But, Lord, how??  Our budget is stressed and cracked from these things that have happened......but My prayers changed to...Okay, Lord...You know....You know...help me to understand and trust...

Today, I was doing our new budget for 2011.....and something very weird happened.....after 4 hours of going back over 2 years of budgets, check books and deposits....(I'm annoyingly meticulous in my record-keeping!).....I realized that in April of 2009, I started making a mistake with our budget.....one that carried into 2010....

You see....2010 had 27 pay periods instead of 26, but I put our budget on a 26 pay budget.....which left me with.....leftover money! 

Yesterday....I had no idea of this...yesterday....I lost my gift card.....Yesterday....I asked God to help me to understand and to trust Him.....

I'm humbled and in complete awe of His faithfulness......because I wasn't even completely (or even partially) faithful.....but He knew that my tomorrow was coming.....

Are you facing an unknown tomorrow?.....guess what...He's already there....He sees.....it may not work out like you expect, but I am learning about God's faithfulness....and I'd so much rather face tomorrow with Him....confidently trusting Him to be good even when I can't actually see His goodness.......yet.......